My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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