and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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