Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize