I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
