she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize