my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
