...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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