are you still at the devil's house?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
