Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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