I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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