I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
