How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
