So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
