Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
