any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
