She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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