That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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