Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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