Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
