No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
