My brain says no but my pants say off.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
