It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
