I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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