And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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