i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
