rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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