I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
