Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
