She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and she was petting her beer can
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
