Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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