She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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