Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
