1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
