Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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