CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
