Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
