arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
