She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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