dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize