I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
