I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
