I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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