oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
