And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
