how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
