My friends, they love my intelligence
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize