My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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