Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize