i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
