Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
