FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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