after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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