I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
