just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
