did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
