opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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