Welp...herpes.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize