honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize