Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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