Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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