areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
