ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize