I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize