Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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