The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
