Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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