Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
