Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think my fart just growled at me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
