so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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