it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize