She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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